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Melkor-Bradley Order Form


To order any of Melkor-Bradley's fine products, just fill out the three sections of our convenient order form below. Once you've submitted your form, our staff of marketing experts will process it some time within the next couple of years.

Remember, all Melkor-Bradley products are fully guaranteed. If you are dissatisfied with your purchase within 30 days for any reason, simply return the unused portion of the product and we will cheerfully refund the unused portion of your money.


Order Form


1. Shipping Information

Your Name:
Your E-Mail Address:
Your Address:

City, State, and Zip Code:
Country:
Age:
Sex:
Annual Income: Under $15,000
$15,000 - $35,000
$35,000 - $65,000
$65,000 - $100,000
Too Much
So Much I'll Never Miss It
Time Of Day When Your House Is Most Likely To Be Empty:
Burglar Alarms: None
Dog
The Kind That's Easily Disabled By Cutting The Power
The Kind That's Easily Disabled By Cutting The Phone Lines
A Really Good One, But I'll Leave It Off
Location Of Most Easily Removed Valuables:

2. Purchases

Jane Eyre's Chutes And Ladders $28.50
     Edward Rochester's horse $7.95
Clue II: Masque of the Red Death $28.50
     extra tally sheets, per pad $2.00
     scarlet plague virus, per vial $1.95
Anna Kareninanopoly $38.00
Moby Dick: Ahab's Challenge $35.00
     Queequeg's coffin $2.00
Shakespeare's Othello $35.00
     replacement Desdemonas (pk. of 50) $2.95
The Lord Of The Rings Board Game $1,275.00
     extra checklists, per pad $99.50
     History of Middle-Earth (12-vol. set) $3,600.00
Arizona Real Estate, per half-acre $249,999.95
The Brooklyn Bridge (extra postage required) $1,795,000,000.00

3. Method of Payment

I intend to pay for my order with:

Cash
Check
Money Order
Everything I Own
My Own Blood
My First-Born Child
Visa Card
MasterCard
American Express
Repeated Sexual Favors (subject to prior approval)
My Immortal Soul


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